That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
