so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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