Define "chronic" masturbator.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
