i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
