It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
