wrigley field is MILF paradise
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
