I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
