This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
