I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
