my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
