where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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