Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
