I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
