You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
