This girl is more easily done than said...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
