his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
