I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
