Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
