ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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