i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
