i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
