Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
