I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
