I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
