Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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