We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Randomize
