We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
