Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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