I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
