They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
