O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
