nut hugger
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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