It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
