just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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