I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think my moral compass just broke
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