And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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