okay pat passed out under dana's car
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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