i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
