you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
