Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
