I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
