I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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