no, he came in my armpit
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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