and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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