i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
