i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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