I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
