I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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