What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
