i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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